Hey! it's about 12:24 of the AM and I'm supposed to be studying but I'm not because I just finished having a quiet time (I know! kinda late, but it's better late than never right?). And I was reading Romans 5 and it was just so refreshing to my soul. This past week has been about banking all of me on God's hands. And God just keeps reassuring me that I'm not going to go broke when I trust Him.
Oh man! it's been such a journey since my last post. I think I told you I installed Covenant Eyes on both of my computers, and that's going well. I also have been trying to reconnect with friends from church, and one of the biggest steps I took was sharing about my journey with one of my closest friends. It was freeing in many ways, and I left that conversation encouraged. I have also started mentoring this one kid and our first hang-out time went really well. My studies were going really badly but it has gotten a lot better. I am filled with renewed motivation and with that peace that God can only give you. I can now concentrate on glorifying Him through what I do best, which is being a nerd :)
I am trying to surround myself with people who can help me continue this journey of faith and hope. And God is truly providing ways for that to be accomplished. He's also encouraging me in many other ways, at school, with random conversations with people I don't usually talk to because I'm intimidated to do so, and I just feel like I haven't felt in a long time. Like things are going to get better and better with every day that passes. I think that's called hope, something like that, something that I forgot lived inside me. I've become a bit more mellow, my regular self actually (at least when I'm alone) and I don't find myself freaking out about nothing, or all hectic and nervous about nothing. It's just the beginning though, but man oh man! I am hopeful. Once again, I am hopeful. Praise God.
Good night.
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4 comments:
Woo hoo! Great to see you leaving such a positive post.
I'm greatly encouraged by the way you took a pro-active stance and got the porn thing under control, opened your life to telling other brothers about it, and then taking more responsibility in mentoring and building godly relationships!
Way to stand strong!
I know its been years since you have made a post on this blog but I just found it and want to tell you how much reading about your struggles with SSA has meant to me. I am struggling through many of the same things as you and it means alot to see I am not alone in this. Thank you for your honesty in these posts.
Okay, I just read your entire blog in one sitting and I know it's three and a half years later, but where are you now on your journey? I see a lot of similarities with my own and am wondering how you've fared since your last post?
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